Mindset – Minimalist Moment

Ahhhhhhh, the Holiday Season. Ideally its family, memories, hope, warmth, and rest. Reality is often quite different. Excess things, busy-ness, chaos, discontentment, anxiety, credit card debt and stress.

Why?

I believe there are many good things that have been twisted ever so slightly to make them appear the same, but function completely differently. Christmas is one such. It is a good thing to give to those you love- but not when it causes debt. It is a good thing to share a meal with family- but not when you arrive at the table exhausted and drained (if you can get there at all.) It is great to be with those you love- but not when they bring only pain and fear into your life. In the midst of pursuing the “perfect” holiday, we’ve sacrificed our time, peace, money, family and joy. But we can reclaim it.

1. Imagine

This season I challenge you (as I challenge myself) to imagine the holiday as you wish it to be. Get a very clear picture… smells, sounds, words, people, schedules, events, things.

2. Compare

Next, compare what you picture with reality. Hold the images side by side in your mind. What is most likely to happen? If you didn’t step in, how would it naturally flow?

3. Choose

Finally, pursue the best course you have available. Not the “perfect” course- as long as you have imperfect people involved (everybody raise your hand) then you will not have a perfect plan or a perfect Christmas. Family will disappoint. Budgets won’t stretch. Food will burn. But you can compare your expectations with reality and pursue the best course.

Now, if you’re still not satisfied with the vision you have ,the choices available or simply not sure how to make it a reality. I have a few suggestions below. I also want to link you to an article I wrote on Minimalist Celebrations that you might also find helpful in reconstructing your idea of “celebration.” Now, let’s get to the practical:

Picture Less

Think about how you would celebrate if you lived in a hut. Yep, a hut, third-world country style. Its extreme, but I think it takes so much pressure off and brings to mind what really matters.

Gift Limits

Set a gift limit. A really extreme one. The model I love is a version of the Gift of 4: 1 Gift You Want, 1 Gift You Need, 1 Gift To Do and 1 Gift For We. The first two are self-explanatory, but the 1 Gift To Do is a gift that allows them to express creativity, explore skills or enjoy time. The 1 Gift For We is a family item, such as a board game, family event or group activity. This helps promote the sense of “us” not “me” and remind us and our family that we are a part of something bigger and joy multiplies when it’s shared. Now 4 may be too many for your family, or maybe too few. Be willing to explore new possibilities- what suits you may not suit others and that’s ok! Just set reasonable limitations to lessen stress and multiply enjoyment.

What if there were no gifts?

Try a viewpoint shift. Try to make the emphasis of the holidays on time, people and events, not on things. A great way to gauge this would be to ask: if there were not gifts would there still be celebration? Begin able to say yes to that question means you’ve moved far from things based to experience based celebration.

More Days, More Ways!

The holidays are more than just one day! Try to plan a simple way to make the holidays about the whole season and make the most of a magical time of year. Focus on time, make gifts the afterthought. And don’t worry- it doesn’t have to be elaborate dinners or special trips. It can be something as simple and low-effort. Another way to look at it would be: make special events out of things you would normally do anyway.

Ideas:

Bake and/or decorate Christmas cookies
Make ornaments
Decorate the house together (play Christmas music!)
Set up and decorate the tree together
Advent calendar
Read the Christmas story or special holiday story books
Pick 3 or 4 of your family’s favorite holiday movies to watch each Saturday in December leading up to Christmas
Drive to see Christmas lights
Going caroling
Volunteer at a soup kitchen or outreach center
Pick out a holiday song and work together to make up dance moves (This is pretty fun and festive because you never know when or where you may hear the song!)

Key Ingredient: Giving (to those in need)

Make one of the big events giving to those in need. Talk about it, plan it together, look forward to it and be excited about it! It should be a main event, as big as (if not bigger than) the gifts you receive. You know you’re there when there’s a sense of “It’s not Christmas without giving to those in need!”

Who taught us that the Holidays are about things? About excess? Is it still Christmas if you budget is $2 or $200? Yes, it is. I’d love to hear the ways you celebrate with less too! Please comment below and share! Let me end this by saying: A Christmas with less is not a lesser Christmas. Whether there are lots of gifts under the tree, or no gifts, does NOT define the quality of your life, family, love or future. The first Christmas is a pretty good example of that. Let’s try to live our lives like we believe it.

We can do this.

Thanks for visiting!

If you’re living with someone who doesn’t ascribe to a minimalist lifestyle, don’t despair! There are plenty of folks in this same situation, coexisting peacefully. Is it tough sometimes? Yep. And, no, its not ideal. But c’est la vie. Here are 2 key points to keep in mind and some bonus tips! Lets get practical.

1. You can’t change someone else.

Classic psychology, eh? But its true, and generally people resent being forced into anything. (Imagine if they tried to make you a maximalist?) Not everyone has to be a minimalist. WOW. It may seem strange, especially if you’ve reached the point where you feel that minimalism is a great way to live. But everyone has a different way of going about things. If your loved one comes to a realization that minimalism is the best method for them- awesome! But remember that you had to reach a particular point in your life before exploring it, and maybe they do too.

2. You can (casually) display a different way.

Just do your thing. Seeing a simpler way (when its not being pushed down your throat) can really appeal. For example, after seeing how little I pack for trips, my husband was intrigued and started asking me for packing advice. Of course I was delighted! And all it took was packing my bag. Another small example is my bedside table. I keep it pretty minimal. Over the past few years my husband’s bedside has also become more and more minimal.

Bonus Tips

Enjoy your own journey instead of stressing over someone else.

I will admit that I did not exercise as much self control as I should have when I first started learning about minimalism. Guys, its so exciting, you just want to share all of the new and fascinating information! Its ok if you did this too. Just try to be cognizant that your roomie may be a little freaked out by what might seem like a radical way of living. I have an advantage in having a great husband who is always open to learning. He is also very patient as I’ve explored minimalism and talked out my personal developments and journey. Maybe that helps too though, because it makes it more about what I’m learning and growing in and less about lecturing or nagging him to do the same. Give them time.

Use minimalism to their advantage.

Example: I offered to go through my husbands receipts. They build up a bunch and he hates sorting through them. I put together a system of a couple different jars for him to make it easier. Eventually we stopped saving any receipts except work expenses, but he felt grateful and was open to more change after he saw minimalism working for him. Find a painful clutter area and offer to fix it (then use minimalism.)

When they ask, offer alternatives.

Maybe you don’t need fill-in-the-blank. If they express frustration with something, offer to help with a minimalist alternative. One of the best choices (and most tentative) was getting rid of our printer. It was a pain for us to go out and get the cartridges at the last minute and though we used it multiple times a year, it really wasn’t often enough to justify the space it took up and the cost of the cartridges ($70 each! Crazy!) I knew it was a big stress for both of us, so I presented him with an alternative idea: printing at Staples. It was scary to get rid of at first, but now I can’t imagine why we kept it so long. Staples, Office Max, Office Depot or any print shop can do the job easily and its now cents to dollars a year instead of double or even triple digits per year for those little ink cartridges.

Offer your benefits.

I found a great toothbrush that utilized reusable batteries, was electric, very small, easy to travel with and the stand doubled as a case. Since I was getting one for myself I casually offered to order my husband one too. I explained the benefits and he liked. Now we both have one and I have gotten rid of our old brushes, travel cases, and chargers. Ha!

In another situation, I started using shampoo bars for easy travel and less plastic. When he expressed interest, of course I offered to let him to use them anytime. Now I’ll be ordering more, but in peppermint since he likes the scent. No more ugly plastic bottles!

Now you have some great tips and tricks under your belt, have at it! Enjoy your journey and respect others. We can do this.