Ahhhhhhh, the Holiday Season. Ideally its family, memories, hope, warmth, and rest. Reality is often quite different. Excess things, busy-ness, chaos, discontentment, anxiety, credit card debt and stress.
Why?
I believe there are many good things that have been twisted ever so slightly to make them appear the same, but function completely differently. Christmas is one such. It is a good thing to give to those you love- but not when it causes debt. It is a good thing to share a meal with family- but not when you arrive at the table exhausted and drained (if you can get there at all.) It is great to be with those you love- but not when they bring only pain and fear into your life. In the midst of pursuing the “perfect” holiday, we’ve sacrificed our time, peace, money, family and joy. But we can reclaim it.
1. Imagine
This season I challenge you (as I challenge myself) to imagine the holiday as you wish it to be. Get a very clear picture… smells, sounds, words, people, schedules, events, things.
2. Compare
Next, compare what you picture with reality. Hold the images side by side in your mind. What is most likely to happen? If you didn’t step in, how would it naturally flow?
3. Choose
Finally, pursue the best course you have available. Not the “perfect” course- as long as you have imperfect people involved (everybody raise your hand) then you will not have a perfect plan or a perfect Christmas. Family will disappoint. Budgets won’t stretch. Food will burn. But you can compare your expectations with reality and pursue the best course.
Now, if you’re still not satisfied with the vision you have ,the choices available or simply not sure how to make it a reality. I have a few suggestions below. I also want to link you to an article I wrote on Minimalist Celebrations that you might also find helpful in reconstructing your idea of “celebration.” Now, let’s get to the practical:
Picture Less
Think about how you would celebrate if you lived in a hut. Yep, a hut, third-world country style. Its extreme, but I think it takes so much pressure off and brings to mind what really matters.
Gift Limits
Set a gift limit. A really extreme one. The model I love is a version of the Gift of 4: 1 Gift You Want, 1 Gift You Need, 1 Gift To Do and 1 Gift For We. The first two are self-explanatory, but the 1 Gift To Do is a gift that allows them to express creativity, explore skills or enjoy time. The 1 Gift For We is a family item, such as a board game, family event or group activity. This helps promote the sense of “us” not “me” and remind us and our family that we are a part of something bigger and joy multiplies when it’s shared. Now 4 may be too many for your family, or maybe too few. Be willing to explore new possibilities- what suits you may not suit others and that’s ok! Just set reasonable limitations to lessen stress and multiply enjoyment.
What if there were no gifts?
Try a viewpoint shift. Try to make the emphasis of the holidays on time, people and events, not on things. A great way to gauge this would be to ask: if there were not gifts would there still be celebration? Begin able to say yes to that question means you’ve moved far from things based to experience based celebration.
More Days, More Ways!
The holidays are more than just one day! Try to plan a simple way to make the holidays about the whole season and make the most of a magical time of year. Focus on time, make gifts the afterthought. And don’t worry- it doesn’t have to be elaborate dinners or special trips. It can be something as simple and low-effort. Another way to look at it would be: make special events out of things you would normally do anyway.
Ideas:
- Bake and/or decorate Christmas cookies
- Make ornaments
- Decorate the house together (play Christmas music!)
- Set up and decorate the tree together
- Advent calendar
- Read the Christmas story or special holiday story books
- Pick 3 or 4 of your family’s favorite holiday movies to watch each Saturday in December leading up to Christmas
- Drive to see Christmas lights
- Going caroling
- Volunteer at a soup kitchen or outreach center
- Pick out a holiday song and work together to make up dance moves (This is pretty fun and festive because you never know when or where you may hear the song!)
Key Ingredient: Giving (to those in need)
Make one of the big events giving to those in need. Talk about it, plan it together, look forward to it and be excited about it! It should be a main event, as big as (if not bigger than) the gifts you receive. You know you’re there when there’s a sense of “It’s not Christmas without giving to those in need!”
Who taught us that the Holidays are about things? About excess? Is it still Christmas if you budget is $2 or $200? Yes, it is. I’d love to hear the ways you celebrate with less too! Please comment below and share! Let me end this by saying: A Christmas with less is not a lesser Christmas. Whether there are lots of gifts under the tree, or no gifts, does NOT define the quality of your life, family, love or future. The first Christmas is a pretty good example of that. Let’s try to live our lives like we believe it.
We can do this.
Thanks for visiting!